Share with me my moments of happiness, sadness, and everything in between! This will be my outlet of my thoughts, emotions, frustrations, and desires. Here I can and will be myself. Simply me, Simply lulu.
Recently, at a long over due and much needed ladies night, we reminisced about our child hood. One of the memories I shared was how when I was younger, I didn't play with barbies, but I loved playing with dolls. I would pretend they were all my kids, and would pretend to do things like: drop them off from school, and pick them up, take them to doctor appointments, take them to the park, etc. Another one was how I always LOVED to dance, all the time, and LOVED being the center of attention.
This made me dig up our old photo albums to take a trip down memory lane... look what I found!
Me and My Dolls sleeping. Lol
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Me "busting a move" in a picnic in Tanzania. (In case you are wondering, my mom is on the left, followed by her friend Anna, and her sister who is holding Theresa, my sister)
With individuals celebrating the death of Osama bin Ladin, and the lingering effects of my emotional roller-coaster triggered by the death of Orphee, I feel that this quote sums up what I feel:
"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."
--Martin Luther King, Jr.
Revenge will not bring your Loved one back ...While the idea of retaliation, and vengeance may sound appealing, isn't it just plain hypocrisy to wish the very thing which caused you so much pain and grief upon others? ]
Orphee would be telling me not to Mourn him, but to rejoice in the time with him, which God blessed me with. He wouldn't want us to be grieving, and have our hearts so heavy with pain.
But this is so, so much easier said then done.
In light of recent events in my life, following the very inhumane (and might I add unnecessary, and uncalled for) murder of my friend , death has a new impact on me.
Death of a loved one is always a tragedy, it represents a time of mourning, as well as a time of celebration of their life.
I've lost loved ones and friends before this. From sickness, accidents, and even murder. I felt grief, sorrow, pain. But never have I felt so much fury, anger, and a longing for vengeance. I'm even ashamed to admit sometimes the strength of such negative emotions that creep up on me unexpectedly whenever I think of what happened to him.
He did not deserve to go the way he did, He was a caring, loving, man. The kind of man you could call at your time of need, regardless of what time, and he would come to your aid. And i can't help but think that's exactly what happened to him, that awful night. One person took advantage of that side of Orphee, knowing that when they came to his house in the middle of the night, Orphee would not hesitate to aid someone in need.... It angers and pains me.... and I can only imagine how his family must be feeling.
... His parents, who just lost their first born Son
... His 2 younger brothers, and younger sister.
... His Grandmother, Aunts, Uncles who all happened to be in Calgary at the time of his death
If my feelings are so raw, and so full theirs must be multiplied by infinity...
Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord.
Romans 12:19
So many of us are filled with such raw emotions of pain, hate and anger. It is my prayer, that God relieves us of the burden of rage and hate, and replaces it with a drive, and ambition to seek justice, and to spread the joy, love, and humour represented by all Orphee was, and leave vengeance to the Lord. These people may have taken his life from us, but they will never take away our memories of him, nor his spirit. Let us all draw comfort in the knowledge that he was saved, and he is with his Redeemer.
Why would someone murder an innocent man, in such a gruesome way, and leave him in a ditch in the middle of nowhere? I don't understand, and I don't think I ever will.
Orphee Landa, was always the life of the party. Every single time I saw him, he would make me laugh. multiple times. His energy was so contagious, and while he may no longer be here with us, our memories of him will last us a lifetime.
As the days progress, I pray that the person or people who committed this awful crime are brought to justice. I pray that God will continue to comfort the devastated. I pray God rests his soul, and that I will see him again in Heaven.
I remember my parents moving away from the crime rates of Baltimore, Maryland to Calgary to escape the senseless killings that were occurring... yet this is the second person I know that has been innocently murdered in Calgary. That's two, too many...
February 23rd, 2011-- Engaged to the love of my life
April 15, 2011 -- Completed my Bachelor of Social Work degree
April 18, 2011-- New job as a Social Worker
June 6, 2011-- Convocation...
What the future holds...?
Wedding Date Setting, Wedding Planning, Saving, Saving, Saving, House Hunting, Getting Married!!
While I've been a "grown up" for 5 years now, experiencing all of these "grown up things" really led me to reflect on my life, and the experiences which God used to bring me to this moment in my life that's rich with so many blessings from Him.
I can't begin to express how fortunate I feel. I know for a fact I wouldn't be experiencing these moments, with out God. I couldn't have done it without Him.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.”
I think it's safe to say that my last post was a very nice prelude to how my week is turning out. So thankful for the blessings God has graced my life with <3
* A chance to refresh during my short reading break..
So far this year has really flown by. It was a shock when I realized earlier this week that we were already halfway past the month. It was great to be able to take this weekend, slow it down, and cherish the special moments I that I had the privilege to share with people I love and care for <3
Hope your all having a great long weekend as well!
You may recall my previous post where I was excited about completing and submitting my application for my Masters in Social Work. From that moment, I've had mixed feelings about whether or not it was still something I wanted to pursue. Some days, I'd feel soo DONE with school, and eager to just embark into having a career and an adult life. I was sick of being a student, and was not looking forward to any more time spent within a classroom. Other days, I would tell myself, its only one extra year (two if I continue with a part time program), and it is easier for me to complete this degree now while I am still young, because once I am married, with kids, going back to school will be a lot harder for me.
I found myself going back and forth between these two trains of thought. Recently, I was speaking to my supervisor who is currently taking her Master's Degree in Counseling ( a specialization within Psychology). This sparked my interest, because I feel like I work best in a counseling setting. While I enjoyed my last practicum, it wasn't very clinical in nature and felt called to return to working in a capacity of a counselor. The more I think of receiving a master's degree in Counseling, the more appealing it is.
While the program will take a lot longer, -- from my Supervisor's experience (who also has an undergraduate in Social Work)-- the material you learn in a Master's degree in Counseling is a lot more clinical in nature, and targets counselors. I am considering taking an online or blended option for this, thus allowing me to start a career and still go back to school...
Upon graduating I will be able to be a Registered Social Worker and a Registered Psychologist... a huge perk I think...
Anyways just a tentative idea for now, but one that I think has taken root in my heart is beginning to grow. =)
...is pretty much amazing!! Working with youth in a Christian setting is such a blessing. While I have previous experience working within the Catholic School District, the two just don't compare!
Every morning, Heritage staff members have a staff meeting before classes (as did St. Mary's Staff), except instead of only discussing school related announcements, the staff members have a weekly schedule dedicated to praying, studying, and worshiping God. The order of tasks varies, but always consists of a day each for:
1. Devotions/Sharing 2. Praying in Small Groups 3. Worship 4. Scripture Reading 5. Chatting / Fellowship
Its absolutely great. Lunch conversations are centered around God, and his unending love and compassion for all of us. I no longer find myself feeling like I have to defend myself for believing in God. Its such a blessing to be able to pray with the students, and co - workers.
My supervisor has allowed me to grow both academically and spiritually, and I am eager to continue this growth!
I now understand exactly what kind of setting I would like to work in, and even if it may not be with Heritage Christian Academy, I will continue to seek opportunities where my work Honors God not ignores or avoids Him.
I usually never have one, I gave up making them awhile back because the following years they would always be the same, and I would just set my self up for failure.
This year however, I decided to give it another shot:
1. Punctuality-- When I'm late, I always blame it on my African time. Let's face it though, I have been i Canada for almost 11 years, and just recently obtained my canadian citizenship. If I can make it on time to work and school, the same should go for everything else! Its about time I start adhering to Canadian punctuality.
2. Reading-- When I was younger I was accused of reading the whole library. I loved to read, I was addicted to it, and it really helped me gain a better command of the english language a lot faster. It also really helped me strengthen my writing skills. The other day I went to the public library to regnite my passion for reading. I felt like a kid in a candy store! This has been the funnest new years resolution yet! =) 3. Balance life/work/school -- I remember how it felt when I had no balance and work and school had taken over my life. I do NOT want to go back to this. ever. again. I plan on continuing to maintain a happy balance between the three areas. Self care is so important, and it is really hard to take care of YOU when you feel like there is no balance in your life.
4. Go the gym more frequently --- I am so out of shape. A flight of stairs leave me hyperventilating sometimes. No good!
5. Continue to grow in my spiritual walk with my Lord-- These past few years has been a wonderful journey which has lead me back to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I want 2011 to be a year of that continued growth and closeness with my Creator.
